Tales for the New Generation, my Wedding in 1950 by Ismail Direskeneli

In Year 1947, I finished Faculty of Law in Ankara. I am in Isparta for 3 years as a candidate to be  Judge. During the first two years of my judge internship, I met my wife Hadiye at a poetry reading night at the Girls Institute, the highest girls' school in Isparta of that time. However, in the meantime, in 1948, I served military obligation as a Second Lieutenant Military Judge in the 19th Division in Devrek - Zonguldak for a year. 6 months school, 6 months at field. Hadiye, was in the jury of the poetry night organized by the Institute for Girls, I was struck by her graceful attitude and her green eyes, unmatched in the world. On the other hand, the matchmaking intermediaries of Isparta's rich families surrounded my mother. My eyes didn't see any of them.

I wrote letters. I'm sending it by mail. Address to Girls' institute. With the hand of her host, Mrs. Makbule, I got an answer from her. She  brought it from hand to Courthouse. I hid those letters. “There was no love in it. It was addressed as "Dear Hadiye, Dear İsmail". Our generation was very elegant. As I said, when my days and nights passed with her dream, I went to his school one day to get to know her better. She was in the library. I went to the library. I sweated hot with excitement. I talked a little and introduced myself. We described ourselves in the letters. We left the school side by side together. Side by side had important meanings at that time. I held the job tight. Deputy Prosecutor Hasan Gebizli's wife Türkan Gebizli was the only university (Ankara Language-History) graduate of that time in Isparta. They were our elders. Türkan talked to Hadiye at her home. Hadiye told her that she was warm to the subject.

The year is 1949. On the other hand, Hadiye got to know my physics from a distance through the pharmacist Necmiye Hanım in the city park. Hadiye received positive information about me through my friends Fikri Özgül and the Deputy Director of the Men's Art Institute Ömer Bey. I was not idle either. I wrote a letter to a fellow citizen living in Istanbul and tried to determine whether she had spoken to others (?) From Cerrahpaşa Etyemez - Hobyar Neighborhood before. In addition, I obtained and examined the registry file in the Isparta National Education Directorate Personnel Department via My Uncle Tevfik Atal. There was nothing negative. On this occasion, I determined that Hadiye was on the honor list at Çapa Teacher Training School for 3 years. One night, we were at Prosecutor Hasan Gebizli's house in the evening. With her mother Fatma Müzeyyen was also present. His words, "The type of my daughter fits the type of the candidate", which is a lifelong family humor.

That night I also excitedly read a few poems that I had memorized before, in order to be the best in the eyes of the literature teacher. She was not idle either. She asked me whether the Heavy Penalty was established in the district of Dinar, its duties and privileges. In other words, her close interest in my job was a sign of her love. I remember now that Hadiye used to curl her hair with bigodies and wore a white dress for that night. I was wearing a well-ironed navy blue suit, white shirt and tie. It was winter. The hosts also attended the two-hour sweet and pleasant conversation. Together we asked permission and scattered around our homes. Things got faster after that day. I brought Hadiye's  other documents from Istanbul as required for the marriage ceremony. In the meantime, I abandoned the family surname “Kılıç” chosen so from the catalog, which did not show me the slightest interest in my years of education and was essentially not our family name in violation of the surname law, and bought our family nickname “Direskeneli” in 1949 by court decision. Only me.

I searched for the source of the word Direskene for years. I have identified one of us, a Turkish settlement center called Diresken, in former Yugoslavia, today's Macedonia. In fact, I went to Direskene village, where I went when I was 12, and one of our elderly relatives, who was alive at that time in the village of Direskene, had to emigrate from Macedonia 3 generations ago in the 1870s and migrated collectively to this region of Eğirdir as a family. I also found out that this village was called Direskene, and later when my grandfather İsmail's father Ahmet Efendi migrated to Eğirdir Imaret District, we were referred to us by the nickname Direskeneans. We are Direskenelizade Ahmet Efendiler.

There is a rival family in Eğirdir. The other reason I changed the surname of Kılıç is to get rid of the mortal animosity between this family and our family that dates back to years ago. There is an allegation that Demirci Efenin was hanged by a person from the other family during the Egirdir raid. Demirci Efe's men took away the property of the hanged person. In the meantime, Efe had a few young people from our family hanged on the excuse that he did not receive enough respect and hospitality.

I asked for the birth certificate of the Hadiye to my home address. I realized I was doing wrong. My sister opened the letter. When she learned the seriousness of the work, things got messed up at home. One night, they carried all the furniture of the house with my mother to the neighbor, with the thought that my sister would move to her new house, including the Isparta carpets, which I had my mother donated with my own money and later given one to my son Haluk and the other to Haner. The house was empty. I left the house, buying nothing but a radio and backgammon. We started the wedding preparations by renting a separate house in Isparta. We got married on September 9, 1950 in Isparta Army Guest House.

We got married two months later on September 9, 1950. I was getting 156 lira and Hadiye 126 lira per month. Hadiye and I were paying 20 Turkish lira each for house rent before we got married. By the way, we rented a house in a garden for 40 lira for our new marriage. Two halls and the upper floor were in the style of today's villa. The owner of the house was sitting on the ground floor of the house. They could see us down from the floor and us through the gap when they raised their heads. If we dance while singer Necip Aşkın is singing tango on the radio, the host complained, "You are knocking on our top." Behind our house were poplar trees and a flowing stream. When the host got involved in our dance, we made it a habit to go out on the balcony at night and watch full moon. I still love to watch the moon with Hadiye.

While the total salary of both of us was 282 lira, we saved with this money, and with the spiritual contribution and organization of those who love us, we had a beautiful wedding with lemonade but plenty of fun at the Isparta Army Guest House. My wife's wedding dress was sewn in the Institute. Isparta also had two taxis at that time. They were both busy and expensive. We went to the Army House with a phaeton wearing the "Marie Antuanette" style wedding dress of the Institute teachers. My Mother-in-law and Sabahat came walking behind. We carried the house we rented with a horse carriage. I carried the remaining stuff on foot, from the stove pipe to the hanger dress. After 50 years, Hadiye hits her head from time to time as a joke and says, "I did not know that the judges were so lame." I wore the black dress I wore at the wedding with two corrections over and over again for my sons circumcision and weddings. I can still wear it as needed. I sewed the dress for 14 liras.

The wedding night opened with the tango song "You are like a daisy, white and thin". The Governor of Isparta, Chief of High Criminal, Regiment Commander, senior team were all there. The young people had a good program. The orchestra played the beautiful tangos and waltzes of the day. The Silifke team formed by the soldiers enlivened the night.

The Girls' Institute teachers, who were often not yet married, had a bit of a whim at the wedding and beyond. For example, they did not make Hadiye's bride head. Sabahat, the childhood friend of Hadiye, who came from Istanbul for the wedding, made Hadiye's bride head style. She sewed a dressing gown overnight.

In an agreement conversation with Hadiye, "What qualities do you look for in a spouse?" she asked. In response, "I look for qualifications based on gender equality that prevail in all contemporary, civilized countries." I said. So, "I look for not only physical but also mental beauty in the woman I choose." In addition, while 50 years ago it was rare for a woman to have a higher education, I - not necessarily - stipulated this condition and contributing to her home by working. Because the working woman knows how to earn money, I stated that I plan to choose the educator of her children from the pedagogically qualified teacher.

I struck him that I wanted to share my black and white days with me, in short, to establish a home based on equality without exploiting each other. Our salary was low, we had no comfort, but we had love. Our first crop was our first son Haluk. Hadiye started to vomit pregnancy while moving from Isparta to Cihanbeyli, our first place of duty. Two months later, we moved to Konya's Cihanbeyli district, which was my first place of appointment.

Yalova 15 August 1998